We did it again!! I made it another week. We have a really strong fighter in our family. I can't help but think of how often I pray to be able to keep this little guy growing in my belly until he is ready to make it on his own. My prayers are definitely getting answered and I thank my Heavenly Father for that all the time! Don't get me wrong, I don't expect him to come out breathing on his own and being able to take him home as we would a regular pregnancy, but I know he will be okay. He is already our miracle baby after all that has happened, he has defied the odds of survival (we were given about 1% chance that the pregnancy would even continue), twice we were told that delivery would happen within a few days (when they discovered that I only had 1.6 cm of fluid and when I got checked in to the hospital). My body wanted to go into labor a couple of times and we've beat those odds too! There have been several women on my support board who start to show signs of labor and with hours their baby is born. I keep expecting that with all the signs, but somehow my body just keeps holding on. I feel so blessed and so fortunate. We are going to make it...just two more weeks to go!
I did a ton of job searching for Dave today. I found a few things, but who knows what will happen. I do know that we will end up where we are supposed to be, it always happens and I have faith that this time will be no different. Maybe one day our lives will calm down.
This evening the boys went to Chuck e cheese and they had lots of fun. After that they came to see me for a short visit since they were delayed from all their playing. It was a good little visit. I'm always glad when I get to see them, it brightens up my day!
Thursday (7/24/14)
Today is Pioneer day in Utah! Dave didn't get the day off today, but they did have a good evening. I took another NICU tour today. It's nice to get an updated tour now that we are at 32 weeks, I think the last time I was only 26 weeks and the 6 weeks definitely make a difference! They showed me where I would deliver, which has a room attached for them to get the baby prepped and ready to go into the NICU just a few feet away. We talked again about pumping as soon as possible after delivery, which fortunately isn't a new thing to me since I exclusively pumped for Lincoln for 12 months (again another blessing). He will be started on the most intensive oxygen contraption, which is a stiff tube that goes down to his lungs. It will keep his lungs open and vibrate them about 600 times per minute. This will stop his lungs from opening and closing, which could damage them. We won't be able to hold him while he is on that machine. Unfortunately our roller coaster of a journey won't end when he is born, I have been told that the NICU is more difficult than the pregnancy because there are so many hurdles and so many ups and downs. A saying comes to mind with all of this:
you never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have.
Dave sent me a text with some numbers and wanted me to guess...he received his bar license number! I'm so proud of him. He has worked so hard and he deserves good things to happen. I made the boys their survival bands today. They are so cute and so tiny, I can wait to give it to them.
They all did fireworks tonight at the house. Dave said the boys had so much fun! I wish I could've been there, but I'm glad they enjoyed it. I asked Lincoln if he saw fireworks and he said "we got to make our own fireworks!" He was very excited about that.
Dave came to visit tonight after he put the boys to bed. It was nice to be able to see him and spend a little time with him. He hasn't been able to come on his own for a while so it was nice to just relax a bit. We definitely caught up on Veronica Mars.
Friday (7/25/14)
I had the best dream ever! I dreamt that Dave and I went to a water park together and we got to hang out. It was lots of fun and so carefree and relaxing, I wonder what that would actually be like!
The doc came in and shared the updated delivery plan. I will be getting a second round of steroids starting Wednesday (@ 33 weeks), which means a painful shot in the deep muscle of my his Wednesday and Thursday. Totally worth it because it helps with baby's lung development. Then the following week on Tuesday night they will check baby's position to plan for either regular delivery or a c-section. If at any point before that happens it appears in an going into labor or the baby needs to be delivered then I will get the steroid shot at that time.
Today I started to feel more contractions than I usually feel and they are bit stronger. Hopefully this doesn't mean anything!
Rocky continues to look good and there are no concerns. I continue to leak a lot, but it's probably because he is still transverse and no longer head down. I don't seem to have pink fluid anymore, it's basically clear again. Not sure how that plays into it all, but I know they always ask about color.
I had a wonderful visit today with an old zumba friend Shelly! I have to say that she is the only visitor I have had that I have cried with. She was talking about how special this baby is and what a true miracle he is and how he is definitely being blessed. It was a very sweet thing to hear so of course I started to cry a little. It was a very uplifting visit to say the least! I was her first zumba teacher so maybe before we leave I will be able to go to one of her classes. I actually tried to go to one of her classes when I first got back out here, but it was probably a good thing that I never made it to one. Now that I think of it we wanted to take a family hike up to the Y a week or two before my water broke, but things kept coming up...talk about blessings!
Later in the evening Jhana, her mom and Ivan came to visit. Ivan leaves on Monday so they wanted to visit for a bit. It was very nice to talk with them, but it was a big reminder of how long it's been since I spoke Spanish and how bad my Spanish is now. Jhana's mom brought me a cute pearl earring set from Peru. She is very thoughtful. After a couple of hours they had to go because the boys were playing halo for one of Ivan's last night's here in Utah.
Saturday (7/26/14)
The boys came for an early afternoon visit. They brought some cut up fruit and brought me a nectarine. It was delicious! They played a bit and then they wanted to go on a walk so they got a wheelchair and both boys sat in the chair. I grabbed the band's I made them and when I showed them they both said, "cool!" On the way downstairs Lincoln says, "dadda can you please not run over my foot with the wheelchair". That kid remembers everything! We went outside and I took my shoes off so I could get a tan or at least some sun. Well the plan worked! I was pretty red after just 10 minutes. I watched the boys play and Oliver ran off at one point and brought me back a couple of flowers. He ran up to me saying, "fowar" and then he ran over to tell Dave, "momma, fowa, momma, fowa". It was so cute because he wanted to tell his daddy that he got mommy a flower. Dave was playing with the boys and having them kick the fountain water, Linc wanted to keep doing it, but we told him he was going to go play in some fountains at the park so we went to see the life flight before going upstairs.
Before they left Lincoln wanted to do some scripture heroes, he separated the "old" from "new" ones. He likes it when I pretend I'm the hero and have the little hero tell his own story. We cleaned up and as they were leaving to the park Dave mentioned how red my legs were.
Not too long after they left my parents in-law came to visit. It was good to chat with them for a bit and catch up on how their cruise went and how things are at home. They brought me a lime Ricky, which I've never had before and I have to say it was really good! They had to get going to continue with Saturday chores and such. I sent Dave a text to let him know they stopped by and he called me about half an hour later. He said the boys had fun at the splash park and they were just leaving. I let him know that my redness had turned tan and let's just say he was jealous that I can get a tan from being in the sun for 30 min. Since it was already 4p.m. He decided to forego the boys' nap and just put them to bed early.
I took a nap and when I woke up the nurse came in to check on me. I let her know I felt a little nauseated and could be having contractions. She put me on the monitor and took my temp, which was 37.2c higher than normal. The baby's heart tones were having some delayed reactions to my contractions that were indicating possible placental failure. So given all the information it indicated that I could be getting an infection in my uterus and placental failure the doctor decided to start the steroid shots and to take away all food and drink. The nurse suggested that I call my husband to let him know what was going on because basically they were waiting for me to deliver. They did an ultrasound and he was still transverse, which means automatic c-section. They were basically watching for heart tones to steadily look bad or my fever to get to 38.0c, which they would then call doc and take baby out.
When I called Dave he was just getting ready to leave to go paintballing, but after hearing everything decided to cancel because he didn't want to risk it. He put the boys to bed and then came over. They were checking my temperature hourly at that point and it fluctuated
Between 37.2-37.7 c . Talk about a roller coaster of a night!
Sunday (7/27/14)
By morning my temp was back down to around 36.8c so that was good. I did have fluctuations throughout the day, but nothing like last night. It was nice to have Dave here in the morning, although I bet he would have liked to sleep with less interruptions. I guess I've gotten used to the nurses checking on me several times a night and having the door open and close and the early morning checks. The nurses said that the heart tracings were looking a lot better, but still had a few questionable areas once in a while. Also, my contractions were about 4 minutes apart. She checked in with the doctor to see what he thought and if I could drink and eat again. I was given the go ahead, but we were still waiting for him to get in. When he eventually got here early afternoon he looked at everything and said we should be okay, but that he thinks my body will just go into labor soon and that is probably what we are waiting for. Hopefully I can hold out for 10 more days, but if he doesn't at least I will have had steroids to help his lung development. The contractions slowed and then pretty much stopped, maybe having one every 20 minutes or so and then at time 10-12 minutes which means I've gone back to normal, except I can feel them all now. Dave went home to see the boys.
I had lunch and then look a nice long nap, which was good since I had been up since 5am and felt exhausted! I woke up at 6pm just in time for my second and final steroid shot. Man they really get you, but luckily the pain only lasts about 20 minutes. The nurse said that I would probably be able to come off the monitor if things continue to look good. I ordered dinner, watched a bit of television, said goodnight to my sweet boys and then went to bed.
Monday (7/28/14)
I woke up at 5:30a.m. Today and couldn't go back to sleep so I decided to catch up on my blog. It kept me busy for the morning. I was already done with my morning monitor by the time the doc came in. He said he was all ready to come in a take baby out on Saturday night, so he was surprised that I was still going! He said that tonight the steroids should be kicking in so at least if we have to deliver he will have the steroids. My tracing looks good although I'm back up a little in my temp. Hope it doesn't get to 38c or it will for sure be time to deliver, well hopefully I don't have an infection but if I do then I hope my temp gets up to 38 for the safety of me and baby!
I've been feeling lots of movement or contractions, or can't totally tell...maybe Rocky is turning back to head down. That would be wonderful!! Today I got some financial things done so I don't have to worry when I get out of here. I also got a new hospital mug because the one I had cracked on the top. They let me keep it so I have it to use now for the boys. They love drinking out of my mug so now they have their own.
They came for their visit and when I told Linc about the mug he got so excited and happy. He wanted to fill it up right away. We went on a walk and Dave was telling Lincoln that mommy was going to get to go home soon! He was excited and was saying that the baby will get to come home too, but we explained that the baby would have to stay at the hospital a while longer after he is born because he will be sick, but he will get to visit his brother in the hospital. He was okay with that. It was a good visit.
Tuesday (7/29/14)
Today I did some more job searching for Dave. Then the rest of the day I worked on some t-shirt designs for the boys and Rocky. I took a nap and passed the day. The parent support group came by and brought three little plush toys, Buzz, Woody, and Mickey...one for each of the boys. We talked about me only having one week left. They said that they took a walk the night before they delivered and it was great. That gave me an idea and I'm sure I'll take a walk next Tuesday. Dave came over to watch some Veronica Mars and we enjoyed relaxing and watching TV, although the internet was extra slow. I was tired and it was late so Dave went home. I got ready for bed and laid down and I heard my door open, I figured it was just the nurse, but then I heard footsteps and when I opened my eyes Dave had come back because he forgot his phone. Not a good thing to forget in our situation. Overall a good day.
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