A RUDE AWAKENING!!

Friday (5/30/14)

Well, I thought we were going to get through a week at the hospital without incident, but I guess I should know to always expect the unexpected/bad news/changes...not really sure at this point! I woke up feeling pretty good because I had a wonderful dream! In my dream, the baby was born and was completely healthy! The crazy surprise was that he was really early (probably between 24-25 weeks) and had no breathing problems. We got to take him right home! Too bad that was a dream.

After being awake for a minute I realized something was not right, I noticed I was, well not dry and I thought to myself  'oh great, another huge gush!' I got up to go to the bathroom and noticed something on my bed and got worried. I feel I should add here that when I first found out about this the doctors mentioned possible bleeding, more leaking, cramping, contractions as all being bad things. Each time I went to the bathroom I was scared as to what I might find, but then after several weeks, well over a month without bleeding and some leaking my fear of what I would find when I went to the bathroom subsided...until today! I realized it wasn't just my fluid, but blood as well! (Sorry to those who think this is TMI, but it's a part of the whole process). I immediately tried to hold back my tears as I called the nurse, which let me tell you is not the funnest thing to have happen (I mean who wants to call a nurse in while you are sitting in the bathroom lol). As soon as she came in I let her know that I was bleeding and then I started to cry a little. She automatically lets me know that its completely normal for women whose water broke. She let me know that they will want to monitor the baby to make sure he's doing okay, which he did and there were still no contractions. I did have a little cramping, but they said to let them know if it gets worse. For now that has gone away.

The doctor just came in to check-in on me and acknowledged the fear that blood can bring, especially when it hasn't happened before. He reminded me that we will probably have some bumps here in there that will freak me out. He said that the baby tracing looks good and that as long as he is doing okay it is better for him to be in than out. He mentioned something about the things we do for kids and it is very true! I will continue to do what I have to so that I can bring this little guy home...he has brothers at home that will love him and welcome him with open arms, we just need to get him there!

Well the rest of the day was pretty non-eventful. In my case though I will happily accept that! Dave let me know that he was going to take the boys camping, which I knew they would love. I actually took two naps today, I think mentally I just wanted to get through the day and make it to tomorrow. I don't recall it being a very productive day at all, I watched lots of TV and had a movie night. I have only had a little bit of bleeding, but as I've done research on my boards I've found that it is quite normal so I'm trying to relax. Apparently, some women bleed so much that they need a transfusion! I just have to remember that it's me and not the baby, he is okay. All of the baby monitoring went well for the day. The boys face timed me around 10pm when they were getting ready to eat dinner, they didn't leave til 8pm to go camping and it ended up just being Dave, the boys, Jon and Ivan. They were wide awake and happy as ever! Lincoln was very excited to show me the fire and Oliver has been repeating every single thing Lincoln says...very cute! I'm glad they are having a fun time. Well that's it for today, here's hoping for a better day tomorrow!

WEEK 24 HIGHLIGHTS

So I figure I should just start combining my daily logs into weeks, I'll see how it goes and maybe I'll decide to change it, but here goes: (I'll edit and add as the week goes on)

Thursday 5/29/14:
Today I sort of slept in. I heard the nurse come in around 6:45am and she said that it was still early, but just wanted to make sure I was okay and said to just go back to sleep. I slept til about 8 am, which was nice since it's the latest I've slept since I got here. The windows are really big in my room and I get a lot of light, which is good for the day, but not so much for sleeping in. I realized that my room is surrounded by American flags! I was able to count 5 easily, 2 big ones and 3 smaller ones...perfect for our family! I talked with the doctor this morning and he said that everything is looking good. He mentioned the possibility of me having to get a c-section because with the lack of water it could cause damage to the baby if he has heart decels. I'll pray that things go how they have to so that the baby can come out with the best chance. I asked him if I could tour the NICU and he put it in my orders so that it could be arranged. I want to be prepared, especially since the baby can come whenever he wants! The more prepared I am the more comfortable I'll be, maybe. He told me to keep up the good work and then went about his rounds.

I had my first baby monitoring of the day and everything continues to look good! All of the other baby monitor results also looked great! So highlights of today, I watched more Drop Dead Diva, I searched pinterest and found some projects to do, and had a wonderful visit with CeCelia. She let me know that she wanted to stop by on her lunch break; she works a few minutes away and it was great to talk with her and catch up. She brought me some delicious cinnamon rolls to go along with her great company. It was a nice way to pass the afternoon.

My sister-in-law had a baby today! The family had a game to guess when she would have her baby and guess what...yup I guessed today! So I win! Pretty cool. Dave and the boys came by and we had dinner together. I always love when they come in the door and are so happy! I sat on the couch with them and Lincoln looks at me and says "why are you not in your bed, get back in bed mommy". I let him know the nurse lets me sit for a little bit on the couch. After dinner, Dave asked me to cut the boys' nails so I sat with them on the bed and started cutting Linc's toenails, he does not like it and he started to get upset and say that he wanted to go home, which of course made me feel so sad! I cut their finger nails because for some reason that doesn't bother them and Dave decided that he would cut their toenails at home. I really don't want to be the bad guy right now. The rest of the visit was happy. Dave took me to see my new nephew, he wheeled me down to her room and we got to see the little guy for a few minutes. Oliver wasn't happy when we left the room, but he was okay when we came back.

When we got back to the room everyone packed up their things and headed out for the night. Dave sent me a text after they left, he told me that Lincoln said, 'can we go back and see mommy' and he told him they were going to go again tomorrow and then Linc says, 'but I love to see her all day long!'. I love that little boy! Oh I almost forgot, the boys sing a song each time they come down here. I filmed Lincoln singing it and Oliver knows the words too and chimes in...they are awesome! I guess I can thank Dave for their awesomeness. Oh and my surprises for the day: sweet tarts, nectarines, and a veggie tray that we all got to enjoy. I'm ending my day finishing my blog for the day and watching my last episode of Drop Dead Diva...here's to another great day tomorrow!

WE MADE IT TO 24 WEEKS!!

DAY FOUR (5/28/14-Wednesday)

Today is the day I have been waiting for!! Ever since I had the ultrasound and met with the MFM for the first time today has been our goal. We were told that if we made it to 24 weeks then the doctors would actually do something to save our baby if he was born after this point! I have been praying for us to make it to this day. I originally had my appointment today at 11am to get another ultrasound and then to get checked in to Labor & Delivery for the remainder of my pregnancy, but as you probably know that was bumped up a few days (which was a great relief)! I don’t feel that we are in the clear by any means. I already am aware that because of the lack of fluids that the baby has had he will still have his challenges with his lung development and possibly other things as well, but I just feel that me being able to keep this little guy inside for 4.5 weeks after my water broke is amazing! Everyday that he stays in is a day to celebrate because I am told that means 3 days less in the NICU. Speaking of NICU, not many pregnant women look forward to having a NICU baby, but for us it is a dream and a goal! As I write this I’m trying to hold back the tears, not sad tears, but happy tears. I am so grateful for the sacrifice that my family is making and for all of the help that we are getting from my in-laws. It makes it a lot easier knowing that the boys are being cared for and since today is the last day of school they will get play time with their aunt Sabrina and uncle Andy, which they love!

For me things have kind of been on pause as far as talking about this pregnancy. I think my last Facebook post was the day before our ultrasound and I never even announced what we were having! I’m sure people have been wondering (and a few have asked), but given the circumstances that we have faced I didn’t feel like posting anything. I can only hope that we continue to have success and that we get to bring baby home. We are so excited to have THREE BOYS and we know that Lincoln and Oliver will love this little guy and they will be the 3 amigos. Now that I have had the courage to share what has been going on I’m sure I will be posting more updates on facebook as well as keeping up my daily blog on this whole experience. It will be a good reminder of the sacrifice and experience. I keep reminding myself that I’m not doing this alone, besides my family I know the Lord is on our side. He has given us the strength we need to get through this great challenge and I thank Him every day. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers and feel free to share any positive stories/experiences.

It turned out to be a pretty good day! I had my breakfast and then as I was waiting for the nurse to come back to monitor baby, my little boys showed up! It was a nice visit with my boys and my mom-in-law. She's been doing so much to help out, which again I have to say is a big relief. One less thing to worry about so I can focus my energy on keeping this baby in! They came in shouting "surprise" and handed me some of my favorite sour candy. I love when they see me and say "mama!". They played trains and colored. I also saved them my fruit from breakfast and they ate it right up. My MIL brought me some delicious yogurt dipped strawberries and Lincoln enjoyed eating some of those next to me on the bed. Oliver was on my other side playing his Kindle. It was nice to have some cuddle time with my boys.

While the nurse was in the room Lincoln kept asking her questions all about what she was doing. He is not shy at all and super curious...I love it! He gave me some shots and then Oliver put about 6 large stickers on my belly. It's a perfect doctor experience, shots and stickers, plus I have the cutest little doctors to take care of me. Oliver did not want Lincoln to give him a shot so he kept walking away from him when he tried. I got big hugs and kisses before they left and then they took some cookies to the nurses before leaving the building.

After my shower I got a message from my sis-in-law and then her hubby Tim came to see me. They had come in because she appeared to be in labor, but unfortunately it was a false alarm. They both stopped by after she was told she could go home. I wished them the best and let them know I would see them again soon. She will be having her baby any day or at the latest being induced Monday. We will sort of be neighbors for a while, although they keep us of opposite sides of Labor & Delivery.

I decided that it was time to post my blog and update on facebook and after doing so I was amazed at all of the love and support I received. It's nice to know that people are thinking and praying for you when life is crazy. So again, thanks to all of you who are rooting for us! It makes it easier knowing we are supported.

I actually took a small nap today, it was only 45 minutes or so, but helped pass some time. I'm also reading The Child Whisperer and I love it! I tried doing some more job searches for Dave, but the internet wasn't very cooperative at the time so I gave up on that for the day.

The nurse told me that I can be out in a wheel chair for 30 minutes a day! Yeah...I get to leave my room. She also mentioned having physical therapy come up to give me some exercise bands that I could use. I liked that idea because for some reason all I could think about today was how I eat and sit ALL day! The results can't be good haha!!

I had my final monitoring and baby did well all day! I'm still not having contractions and everything else looks good. During my final monitoring I got to face time with my little guys and they were so happy. Lincoln is so funny when he talks on the phone, you actually have a real conversation with him, plus his faces that he makes are priceless! Looking forward to another good day tomorrow!

MY FIRST DAYS AT THE HOSPITAL

FIRST OFFICIAL DAY (5/25/14-Sunday)

Let’s see, I think the highlight of my days (other than seeing my family) has been picking out meals. For breakfast I had a breakfast burrito and fruit and yogurt parfait. It was pretty good. The doc came in to check on me briefly and then went about his rounds. I was put on the baby monitor and again heart beat was wonderful and I was not having contractions. Dave called to check in with me and he told me that he woke up in the middle of the night and was all wet! He realized Lincoln had wet the bed and his thought was ‘it’s only my first night without melissa and I’m already doing things wrong’. Poor guy! He knew that if I were there I would have not let him give the boys huge slushies right before bed, but it was a good laugh and I needed it. He’s such a good father and the boys love being with him so I’m not worried.

Dave and the boys came to visit me and they brought some trains and cars and snacks oh and lets not forget my bathroom things. I was really happy to see them and they were happy to see me too. We ate lunch together and the boys played. Dave and I talked and reflected on some things. They stayed for a few hours and then went home for naps and dinner. When they left I called the nurse and let her know I was ready to take a shower…she has to wrap my IV so it doesn’t get wet, but I can bathe on my own. She came into the room and let me know that she just got a call from the MFM (who wasn’t supposed to be here til Tuesday) and he was downstairs and wanted to do my ultrasound today. They brought in a wheel chair and wheeled me down to his office area. At the conclusion of the ultrasound he said that the baby is measuring at 24+0, which was good since I was only 23+4 and many women on my support boards say their baby’s measure early. He also said that he is growing on time and that all of his organs look normal. Of course he can’t say how the lungs are doing, which is our biggest challenge with my waters breaking so early. He saw fluid in his tummy and bladder, which is a good sign because he is swallowing fluids. I also saw that my fluids measured at 1.76cm, which means that my body and the baby are making fluids. That number is a little more than what I had after my 20 week ultrasound (I had 1.6cm) and the 1.76cm was after little leaks and a big gush! That was very comforting to me. I called Dave and told him what was going on and the news made him happy too!

They wheeled me back up to my room and I got to take my shower! I felt very refreshed and just relaxed for the rest of the day. I watched some more drop dead diva and talked with family. Dave also sent me some fun pictures of the boys playing outside enjoying their water table. I’m glad they love it and I’m glad this is the first time they are playing with it, new toys are good in this situation. Dave came back to the hospital last night after putting the boys to bed and we watched a few episodes of Veronica Mars. It was nice to sit and relax with him. When he left, I realized he forgot his cell phone. I had another dose of antibiotics before going to bed and slept almost the entire night. I was up for about one hour and then slept just fine.

DAY TWO (5/26/14-Monday)

Today is Memorial Day and it is the day that I decided to start this blog. My dad mentioned it and writing is a good outlet for me. I woke up today feeling refreshed! I had my morning vitals checked and ordered/ate breakfast. I watched the boys’ cartoons this morning because it reminds me of them and makes me happy. I read on my support boards and little and then started writing this blog. I’ve talked with Dave and the boys on the phone (they went to a Memorial Day service and went home to play with their water table while lunch is getting ready). They plan to take naps and then come visit this afternoon. This blogging thing is actually a good time distractor as I look at the clock it has already been 3 hours! During this initial post I have had my last IV antibiotics and a very good monitoring of baby and contractions. Now since it is 1pm I will eat some lunch and take a shower before the boys get here, plus I need to send Dave a list of some things to bring me today.

The rest of the day turned out to be alright. I watched some more tv (no surprise there), looked up some jobs for Dave (I definitely have the time), and had a visit from my wonderful husband and boys! That is always the best part of my day. They were happy and cute as always! They had a fun day going to a memorial day service and got to visit Boompa’s (Dave’s grandpa) grave and find his name on the wall of rememberance. They got in their swim trunks and played with their water table (but I guess I already wrote this…oops). They must have had lots of fun because they took a late nap! Lincoln told me that “daddy came in and said, ‘wake up Lincoln’ and then I woke up”. We don’t normally wake him up from a nap, but I guess when it’s already evening time it’s a good time to wake him up. Dave brought me clothes because; well I graduated from my hospital gown to regular clothes! It was very nice to change into my own clothes!

Oliver sat with me on my bed and played his Kindle while Dave went with Lincoln to grab some dinner. We ate and then they had some time playing with their toys. They played trains together and Lincoln played with his Book of Mormon heroes. Normally he wants me to tell him the stories, but he’s doing a pretty good job on his own and remembers their names (most times).

Lincoln is always so curious and wants to check in with the doctors and asks why I’m in the bed. They both love looking out of the windows and looking at the buildings and the water fountain outside. Unfortunately, the only cartoon on while they were here was sponge bob, which normally I don’t allow them to watch, but under the circumstances 20 minutes won’t hurt their brains too much! I’ll just have to read them extra books and teach them extra things to compensate haha!!

After a while they start to get anxious and bored and just want to start pushing buttons, which is when we start winding down and getting ready to leave. They last for a few hours so that is nice! Lincoln must have still been tired because when Dave told him it was time to leave he started to cry and say he didn’t want to leave and then he walked to the door and tried to open it and then started to say that he did want to leave. Luckily he stopped crying, because that’s the hardest part of my stay here…having to watch them leave. Dave brought Ollie over and he gave me a kiss and told me “night night” and then I got an “I love you” from all of my boys.

Later that night I skyped with my parents, had my second monitoring of the baby and contractions (baby’s doing great and no contractions!), and started my oral antibiotics. After talking to my parents I got ready for bed and then fell asleep so fast!

DAY THREE (5/27/14-Tuesday)

I actually slept the entire night last night! I vaguely remember the nurse coming in to flush my IV, but other than that I slept great. I woke up at 6:45am, sometimes I wish there were blackout curtains because then I could sleep in and pass half the day! I love the view when I wake up. I get to see the mountains and lots of green. Of course there are some buildings, but there is a huge American flag and each time I look at it I think of Dave so it’s very comforting.

The doctor came in this morning to check on me. He said things look good. I asked him about taking the actual IV out of my arm and he said sure. I asked if I will need to have the IV antibiotics again and he said that the only reason I’ll need it is if I get an infection, which at that point we would have to deliver the baby…so we are praying that doesn’t happen!

The nurse came in after he left and did my morning check of vitals, reflexes and swelling. Everything looked good. She took out my IV, which hurt a bit when the tape was being peeled off, but it feels very nice to have out! Now I’m left with some tape residue and a little gauze and tape.

Lunch was great, but I’m realizing that I haven’t been eating this much during my pregnancy and now I feel like I’m going to gain weight! Plus they put the amount of carbs on your food order and I look at it and think, “what! I never felt guilty about eating an apple”, but now that I realize it has like 20+ carbs I feel guilty. I guess the positive twist is that I’m not going to have a full 40 week pregnancy so I’ll just enjoy…find the joys in the little things right (and carrot cake is a joy for me)!

I actually got to take a shower with two hands today since my IV is completely out! It was really nice. You definitely take things for granted. I took care of some bills and financial things and even took a short nap! After my nap I read for a couple of hours. Dave called me and he will be stopping by tonight to watch some Veronica Mars and hang out for a while.

After dinner, I relaxed for a while and then I had some visitors from the Parent Support Group here at the hospital. It was very nice and they brought me a notebook and pen and some lotion and Chap Stick. They shared their stories and one of the ladies had her water break at 15 weeks and her fluid never reaccumulated. Her little guy was born at 27 weeks and is now almost 3. That definitely gives me hope! They gave me some good ideas to keep the boys entertained (window clings and dry erase markers) and mentioned that I have the best room in the hospital! They also said to ask about wheelchair privileges in a few days if things remain stable and that there is a scrapbooking class that other moms go to so it’s a good place to socialize for a bit. I’ll hopefully be able to do those things.

When Dave stopped by he brought me some Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream…very thoughtful! He also brought some cookies for my “friends” (aka the nurses), but I’ll let the boys give those to the nurses when they stop by tomorrow. It will be a good way to say thanks for taking care of my mommy. He also had a green security band, which is good because last time he came security stopped him to question his visit. I guess it’s a new procedure (started because of him…hmmm who knows). I had some ice cream and the rest is in the freezer so I can share it with my little guys another time. Dave and I talked about what we did today and then we watched a couple of Veronica Mars episodes before he had to leave. He told me the boys would be stopping by tomorrow so of course that was wonderful news! Til tomorrow…it’s time for bed!

CHECKING INTO LABOR & DELIVERY

(5/24/14-Saturday)

We got to Provo hospital and they were expecting me when we arrived. I felt 10 times better just being there! They checked me in and then showed us to my room. It is a big room and even has a corner for the boys to play when they are here. They started me on an IV of just fluids and then took some vitals and tests to check for infections before starting me on the antibiotics and steroids.

The nurse came in with my antibiotics and the steroid shot. She hooked me up and then gave me the shot. Let’s just say they have to put it in the deeper tissue of your hip/bottom and boy does it hurt! It was sore for about 20 minutes, which is apparently pretty good since some people are sore for days, so I guess I should be thankful. Dave made sure that I got some food because by that time it was already around 2pm and we had not eaten. We spoke with Dr. Broadbent who will be my OB now that I am here and with the maid doctor from the NICU. Both doctors were really nice.

Dave made sure that I was feeling better and stable and then we decided that he should go see the boys since we basically just disappeared the whole day. He told me that he would bring them back later so they could see where I was at.

He got home, had dinner with the boys and then took them for sonic slushies and to the park. I talked with him and we decided that he should stay home since it was getting close to bed time. I was exhausted emotionally and wanted to rest. I talked with the boys on the phone and they were happy.

My first night was pretty difficult only because I was so exhausted, but could not sleep. I finally got to sleep and then got woken up around 1am from my IV beeping. I couldn’t get back to sleep til 5am! I watched a few episodes of drop dead diva and read on my support group pages and then just lay in bed til I fell asleep. I was also being monitored during the night and they would come in and change the IV/antibiotics so that didn’t help.

ALWAYS EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED

I guess in our case with this pregnancy we should have known it wasn’t going to be completely smooth sailing. On Saturday morning Dave woke up around 7am to go Frisbee golfing with his buddy. I decided that I needed to go to the bathroom being morning and all. Lincoln woke up at the same time and when I got up to grab some clothes (after realizing I may have leaked a little) I began to feel a gush! My initial instinct was to try to hold it in, but that obviously doesn’t work when it’s your amniotic fluid coming out! Sorry, that was probably a little TMI, but it explains the rest so I can’t leave it out haha.

I took Lincoln upstairs and put some cartoons on for him and I went to do the normal exam of fluids. I knew it was my water, but luckily there was nothing else with it (if you know what I mean). I wasn’t contracting, but I was cramping a little. I tried to get a hold of Dave and let him now what happened, but since it was raining that morning he left his phone in the car. As soon as he got to his phone he called me. I let him know that I thought it would be a good idea to go to Labor & Delivery so that we could make sure things were okay with the baby. I normally wouldn’t have done that, but with the amount of fluid I lost I just wanted to be sure. He said he was on his way. I told Lincoln that when daddy got home mommy and daddy were going to go to the doctor to make sure mommy was alright. He said that he wanted me to stay and I told him that it would be fast and I would come home right after (turns out that was not correct and I felt so bad for not being able to go back home to him).

We got to L&D and I told the lady I was almost 24 weeks and just lost a lot of fluid. They checked me in and then did a non-stress test to monitor the baby and to check to see if I was contracting. The baby’s heart beat was perfect and I wasn’t having any contractions. They decided to have ultrasound come up and check to see my fluids and to take a look at baby. As we were waiting I was feeling pretty good and was ready to go home and continue with our weekend. After the ultrasound, the tech said that there were very little fluids, which was not a surprise (especially since I thought it would all be gone). He then went to talk with the on-call doctor and asked us to wait a few minutes.

The nurse came in and told us that the doctor looked at my chart and since I wasn’t bleeding, contracting or cramping anymore then he felt comfortable sending me home til Wednesday when I would meet with the MFM and get checked in. She also mentioned that from the ultrasound I was dilated 2-3 cm!!! WHAT?!!! That was definitely new information. She said that if I start to have contractions, cramp or bleed then to come back in because they don’t want me to deliver the baby at home. I just lost it at that point! She mentioned maybe calling in on Tuesday to see if they would take me a day early, but other than that to just stay on bed rest and only to get up to go to the bathroom. I got dressed and we left. Dave suggested that I call the doctor at that moment to see if I could get admitted today! When we got home and explained to his parents his mom suggested the same thing.

I called the Provo hospital (which is where my MFM is and probably where we should have gone in the first place) and they connected me with L&D. I explained what just happened and let her know that I wanted to be admitted today and the charge nurse said that she would contact my MFM and see what he thinks. About 10 minutes later I got a call directly from the MFM and after a short conversation he agreed that it would be okay since I am 23.3 days. He let me know that he would call the nurse and let her know I would be coming in and to get me started on an IV and steroids. I grabbed the ipad that Misty was loaning me, my phone and the chargers. Dave said that he will worry about the other things later and just wanted to get me to the hospital.

THE DAY OUR WORLD CHANGED!!

We got to the doctor’s office and waited patiently. The tech started with the ultrasound and things appeared to look good. She told us we were having a boy and we both smiled. Then she started asking me questions like: have I had a fever, been sick, cramping, bleeding, leaking. She asked the fever and sick questions again. I explained to her that Saturday (4 days earlier on April 26^th) I had some fluids leak, but that I wasn’t sure since most people end up calling their doctor and get the ‘oops pregnancy bladder’ result so I thought nothing of it because I didn’t have any more fluids or bleeding/cramping. She finished the ultrasound and then informed us that she was going to go talk with the nurse about something. Dr. Haskett was still at the office so they nurse came in and told me that he wanted to speak with us because there is very little amniotic fluid (I had 1.6 cm and they like it to be around 15 cm). I got really nervous and then after speaking with the doctor it just got worse. We were told that we would most likely lose the baby and that if we didn’t he would be born early with lots of health problems and would possibly be a still birth or die shortly after birth because of his lungs not being developed. I broke down and cried! We were told that we would be meeting with a Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist on Friday (in two days) and that he would go over more information and what to possibly expect.

We left the office totally devastated and with little hope. Dave was in shock and I was crying uncontrollably. He asked me if I still wanted to go get balloons or what I felt like doing. He suggested taking a drive up the canyon so that was what we did. We couldn’t believe it! We went in expecting a fun ultrasound experience like our previous two and we ended up being told that chances were high that we would lose our baby! We eventually went home and I just went to my room and Dave took the boys to the store or something, honestly I don’t remember. I do remember that I began looking things up on the internet right away and I found a support group for what I was experiencing, which is called pPROM (preterm premature rupture of the membranes). Many of these other women were given the same prognosis as mine and all left the doctors feeling lost, hopeless and that they were going to lose their baby. I was able to find lots of positive stories and advice. They were all on bed rest and drinking tons of water! They also took vitamin C to increase their immune system. We decided to start there.

LOOKING FOR HOPE

We ended up meeting with the MFM the next day. We honestly thought that would make us feel better, especially since we had a little bit of hope from stories and experiences I read online. Well, it was not what we expected. We were told pretty much the same thing and were told that with the membranes rupturing at 19 weeks there was little chance for a positive outcome. Chances were high that he would have developmental issues, lung problems, cerebral palsy, and pretty much everything else you can imagine…including giving birth and having him pass away shortly after! He told us that bed rest wasn’t necessary and that drinking lots of fluids wouldn’t necessarily help build up the amniotic fluid. He told us that when I reached 24 weeks I would be admitted to the hospital for bed rest until the baby came. He reviewed the plan and said that I would be receiving antibiotics and steroids to help with the baby’s lung development. He gave me signs to watch for that would basically lead to an immediate end to our pregnancy and then we asked any final questions. I again started crying and we felt worse after leaving that appointment than we did the previous one.

CHOOSING HOPE--NOT GIVING UP

Dave and I talked and cried and decided that we wouldn’t listen to the doctors. We would try to be as brave as possible and would focus more on the positive stories of other women that have already been through this or were also currently experiencing this. I’m not going to lie and say it was easy, I definitely had my share of tears. I had good moments and horrible ones! After all, we still have 4 weeks to go…yes that’s right FOUR LONG WEEKS! I kept telling Dave that I felt like a ticking time bomb and was just waiting for the day something would happen, but at the same time hoping that day wouldn’t come.

THE WAITING GAME

With each week, no, with each day that passed I had more hope. We decided that I would go on bed rest and the hardest part was not being able to pick up the boys. It was a choice we made, we were going to be doing everything we could to save our baby. I started drinking about 5-6 liters of water a day, plus other liquids like juice and Gatorade. I sat around a lot and tried to not do much at all! Trust me it is way harder than you think. I know many people would love to be on bed rest and have an excuse to not do anything, but when you are a busy body like me who loves to hang out and play with her kids, go to the park, be active and stay busy then it is the worst! The only thing that got me through was knowing that I was fighting for my little boy. There were a few hard days when Oliver wanted to be picked up, and when I couldn’t he would tantrum and lay on the ground crying. He would get mad at anyone who even tried to pick him up. Luckily there were only two days like that during the past month.

We have had so much help and it has truly been a blessing staying with my in-laws. This is definitely not something you can do on your own when you have two little ones. The boys have adjusted well and Oliver even goes to my mother-in-law without crying, which is a big deal! We thought it would be a good transition for when I would go on hospital bed rest. I’ve been amazed at how well the boys have done, but they both have had their little moments. Lincoln asks me to play with him and asks if I’m leaving when I get up to refill my water. Overall, they are strong little boys and really lean on each other for help and support. I’m grateful that they play and get along!

During the waiting time I had a few little leaks, but never anything to be concerned about. I had seen my OB twice and things were looking good. At our last appointment with him, May 20^th, he did an ultrasound and said that I still had little fluids, but since nothing else had really changed he was happy that we had made it this far. I asked him if we should call him in case something happened prior to the 28^th. He confirmed and we left with high hopes not expecting anything to happen since we were so close and things have gone well, so to speak.

Time has flown by so on Friday May 23^rd, we made plans to go to the movies on Saturday night to watch the new X-Men movie. We figured it would be a final hoorah before I got admitted to the hospital. We were excited because we only had 4 more days til we were in the clear! We had made it. I was making my final plans and mentally packing to get ready. I had even started telling Lincoln a couple days prior (probably Wednesday) that I was going to be going to the hospital next week to stay for a while. He is a very smart child and I knew it would be better to prepare him rather than to just disappear. Dave and I started planning some visit schedules and making ideas of how we could make this easier for the boys once I was in the hospital. We decided to get them some special toys and had planned to order them. We were planning on bringing trains to make them feel at home when they went to the hospital and even talked about movie and pizza night at the hospital! We were almost ready and finalized and getting so excited for May 28^th when I would be 24 weeks and in the clear (again, so to speak).

STARTING PRENATAL CARE

My first prenatal appointment was on March 18^th and luckily we got to go with my original OBGYN that I had when I was pregnant with Lincoln. We walked into the appointment and the first thing Dr. Haskett says is, “hey guys, you back from Nebraska now”. Wow that guy is awesome! It had been about three years so that was really nice that he remembered us. They did an ultrasound to check the due date and we were given a due date of September 17, 2014. It was about a week later than what we had thought, but I guess it was not big deal. Dave got really excited because with my history of big babies I’m induced about a week early and he wanted to be induced on September 11, 2014 since it was patriot day.

We had our second appointment on April 15^th and everything looked good. I schedule our Ultrasound for April 30^th @ 4p.m. I was excited, we only had 2 weeks and then we would know what we were having. Dave thought we were having a girl just because this pregnancy had been slightly different and he says that it will be whoever is least stressed…haha! He had been dealing with end of law school things so he figured it would be a girl. I went back and forth, but really had no clue. We would be happy with another boy, but at the same time wouldn’t be sad if it was a girl. We were happy with whatever. Everyone kept saying, “I bet you’re ready for a girl after having two boys”. I always said I wouldn’t mind either way, because it was true.

As the ultrasound appointment was approaching my brain started racing. I wanted to find a cute way to do the gender reveal for our little boys. After researching and thinking about it (and having a 4pm appointment) I decided to go with the balloons out of the box. The boys love balloons and they would get to play with them after. The day before the ultrasound I found a big box and the morning of I decorated it. I told Dave that after our appointment we would just need to stop and grab some balloons. I packed the box in the back of the car and off we went.

(I never did take a picture of the box I made, but once I'm out of the hospital I'll edit this post, or maybe I'll have Dave take one and send it to me)

WE’RE EXPECTING…AGAIN!!

On January 8^th, 2014 I had a weird feeling that something was different. Earlier that week I felt sick in the car twice, which doesn’t happen for me. I started looking at some dates and thinking about things and thought “hmmm, there’s no way I’m pregnant!” Normally I just get really hungry and tired, but this was different. I went to the store and decided to buy a 2-pack test. You can never be too sure! I got home that afternoon, checked in with Dave briefly who was studying for the bar exam and then decided that since no one was home I would just go for it. It didn’t take longer than 5 seconds for the positive test to show up! I couldn’t help it, I just started laughing! I wanted to tell Dave, but tried to think of a clever way that I hadn’t done before. For some reason I decided to send him a text (he was upstairs) and it said:

You may think its funny,

It certainly was for me.

Who would’ve known that

On it’s way is baby

Number three!!!

His response was: “wait…what? Are you telling me this through a text message?”

He immediately came downstairs and asked if I was serious. He was in shock and I couldn’t stop laughing. It was a bit of a crazy time for us because Dave had just graduated from law school a semester early and we were at his parent’s house for the holidays and then we planned to go to my parents home while he studied for the bar.

THE WAITING GAME

We got to Tennessee and adjusted well while he studied. I didn’t apply for insurance because we would only be there for two months and by the time a state application for Medicaid goes through it takes about that long anyway, we figured it would be alright since we had already had two perfect pregnancies.

The boys had fun at grandma and grandpa’s and got to spend time with cousins they had out there. I did fine with my pregnancy, although I had a few moments that I felt nauseated. I admit that was a first for me, but overall not that bad.

TAKING THE BAR AND HEADING TO UTAH

Dave left to take the bar on February 24^th and then we met him in Utah on March 6^th, where we planned to stay for a few months while Dave heard back from the bar and looked for a job. As soon as I got to Utah I began to apply for Medicaid so that I could start getting prenatal care.