We got to the doctor’s office and waited patiently. The tech
started with the ultrasound and things appeared to look good. She told us we
were having a boy and we both smiled. Then she started asking me questions
like: have I had a fever, been sick, cramping, bleeding, leaking. She asked the
fever and sick questions again. I explained to her that Saturday (4 days
earlier on April 26th) I had some fluids leak, but that I wasn’t
sure since most people end up calling their doctor and get the ‘oops pregnancy
bladder’ result so I thought nothing of it because I didn’t have any more
fluids or bleeding/cramping. She finished the ultrasound and then informed us
that she was going to go talk with the nurse about something. Dr. Haskett was
still at the office so they nurse came in and told me that he wanted to speak
with us because there is very little amniotic fluid (I had 1.6 cm and they like
it to be around 15 cm). I got really nervous and then after speaking with the
doctor it just got worse. We were told that we would most likely lose the baby
and that if we didn’t he would be born early with lots of health problems and
would possibly be a still birth or die shortly after birth because of his lungs
not being developed. I broke down and cried! We were told that we would be
meeting with a Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist on Friday (in two days) and
that he would go over more information and what to possibly expect.
We left the office totally devastated and with little hope.
Dave was in shock and I was crying uncontrollably. He asked me if I still
wanted to go get balloons or what I felt like doing. He suggested taking a
drive up the canyon so that was what we did. We couldn’t believe it! We went in
expecting a fun ultrasound experience like our previous two and we ended up
being told that chances were high that we would lose our baby! We eventually
went home and I just went to my room and Dave took the boys to the store or
something, honestly I don’t remember. I do remember that I began looking things
up on the internet right away and I found a support group for what I was
experiencing, which is called pPROM (preterm premature rupture of the
membranes). Many of these other women were given the same prognosis as mine and
all left the doctors feeling lost, hopeless and that they were going to lose
their baby. I was able to find lots of positive stories and advice. They were
all on bed rest and drinking tons of water! They also took vitamin C to
increase their immune system. We decided to start there.
LOOKING FOR HOPE
We ended up meeting with the MFM the next day. We honestly
thought that would make us feel better, especially since we had a little bit of
hope from stories and experiences I read online. Well, it was not what we
expected. We were told pretty much the same thing and were told that with the
membranes rupturing at 19 weeks there was little chance for a positive outcome.
Chances were high that he would have developmental issues, lung problems,
cerebral palsy, and pretty much everything else you can imagine…including
giving birth and having him pass away shortly after! He told us that bed rest
wasn’t necessary and that drinking lots of fluids wouldn’t necessarily help
build up the amniotic fluid. He told us that when I reached 24 weeks I would be
admitted to the hospital for bed rest until the baby came. He reviewed the plan
and said that I would be receiving antibiotics and steroids to help with the
baby’s lung development. He gave me signs to watch for that would basically
lead to an immediate end to our pregnancy and then we asked any final
questions. I again started crying and we felt worse after leaving that
appointment than we did the previous one.
CHOOSING HOPE--NOT GIVING UP
Dave and I talked and cried and decided that we wouldn’t
listen to the doctors. We would try to be as brave as possible and would focus
more on the positive stories of other women that have already been through this
or were also currently experiencing this. I’m not going to lie and say it was
easy, I definitely had my share of tears. I had good moments and horrible ones!
After all, we still have 4 weeks to go…yes that’s right FOUR LONG WEEKS! I kept
telling Dave that I felt like a ticking time bomb and was just waiting for the
day something would happen, but at the same time hoping that day wouldn’t come.
THE WAITING GAME
With each week, no, with each day that passed I had more
hope. We decided that I would go on bed rest and the hardest part was not being
able to pick up the boys. It was a choice we made, we were going to be doing
everything we could to save our baby. I started drinking about 5-6 liters of
water a day, plus other liquids like juice and Gatorade. I sat around a lot and
tried to not do much at all! Trust me it is way harder than you think. I know
many people would love to be on bed rest and have an excuse to not do anything,
but when you are a busy body like me who loves to hang out and play with her
kids, go to the park, be active and stay busy then it is the worst! The only
thing that got me through was knowing that I was fighting for my little boy.
There were a few hard days when Oliver wanted to be picked up, and when I
couldn’t he would tantrum and lay on the ground crying. He would get mad at
anyone who even tried to pick him up. Luckily there were only two days like
that during the past month.
We have had so much help and it has truly been a blessing
staying with my in-laws. This is definitely not something you can do on your
own when you have two little ones. The boys have adjusted well and Oliver even
goes to my mother-in-law without crying, which is a big deal! We thought it
would be a good transition for when I would go on hospital bed rest. I’ve been
amazed at how well the boys have done, but they both have had their little
moments. Lincoln asks me to play with him and asks if I’m leaving when I get up
to refill my water. Overall, they are strong little boys and really lean on
each other for help and support. I’m grateful that they play and get along!
During the waiting time I had a few little leaks, but never
anything to be concerned about. I had seen my OB twice and things were looking
good. At our last appointment with him, May 20th, he did an
ultrasound and said that I still had little fluids, but since nothing else had
really changed he was happy that we had made it this far. I asked him if we should
call him in case something happened prior to the 28th. He confirmed
and we left with high hopes not expecting anything to happen since we were so
close and things have gone well, so to speak.
Time has flown by so on Friday May 23rd, we made
plans to go to the movies on Saturday night to watch the new X-Men movie. We
figured it would be a final hoorah before I got admitted to the hospital. We
were excited because we only had 4 more days til we were in the clear! We had
made it. I was making my final plans and mentally packing to get ready. I had
even started telling Lincoln a couple days prior (probably Wednesday) that I
was going to be going to the hospital next week to stay for a while. He is a
very smart child and I knew it would be better to prepare him rather than to
just disappear. Dave and I started planning some visit schedules and making
ideas of how we could make this easier for the boys once I was in the hospital.
We decided to get them some special toys and had planned to order them. We were
planning on bringing trains to make them feel at home when they went to the
hospital and even talked about movie and pizza night at the hospital! We were
almost ready and finalized and getting so excited for May 28th when
I would be 24 weeks and in the clear (again, so to speak).
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